| I am sad. Not sure what it is. But the empty house does make me sad and I want to dump my feelings here in the hopes that it might make me feel better.
So my big event at work is coming up or rather has started and things are as chaotic as can be. The next few weeks are going to be crazy. I am leaving to India right after this event. This gives me no time to plan for the trip. I am going for my brothers wedding but I have no time to think about it.
I wanted to take my sabbatical for my brothers wedding. I asked them to plan the wedding according to my old teams schedule and now with the new team the wedding cannot be worse timed. And I am not taking my sabbatical too. And I am least prepared for the wedding.
Once we get back from India there is another nightmare of settling down waiting for us and I am dreading it already. Daughter might have to move to a different school. Jetlag. More disciplining.
I have to go to F town tomorrow, getting up early morning sucks. Getting up and getting everything ready for daughter's school and then leaving at 630 sucks even more. I have to sleep early if I have to wake up on time but I have work, and I want to relax a little too. And sleep some.
F town trips are draining. Too much talking and meetings and general tiredness with travel.
Email on the phone is a Double edged sword. While you are on top of things, you can never disconnect from work. Those unanswered emails nag in your head.
Daughter is still getting used to the new school, she moved to pre school and she is not liking it. Crying in the mornings, now she can say very well I don't want to go.
Daughter is having a growth spurt I think, quick tempers, horrible ones. I wonder what I am doing wrong in raising her. Head knows it is her way of coping to an empty house may be but heart aches.
More re org at work, dealing with uncertainty sucks. The team that I joined has slowly been dismembered, few people moving out to different teams at a time. Really dynamic changing with the industry needs.
I know I said I should try to manage stress this year. Going for yoga. I suck there too because I am soo not flexible.
I miss strong workouts. That is what keeps my adrenaline flowing. But I am not doing it because .. I wanted to do these low impact swimming and yoga. Actually I am not doing it because all my efforts will be down the drain when I go to India and be fed mounds of rice to eat. I am waiting to get back from India to start a full fledged workout routine.
No kitchen, the plastic on top of my beautiful cabinets is depressing and ugly. I wonder if we are spending so much money to have a mediocre/cheap looking kitchen.
These ikea guys are taking forever to get my counters installed. Then there is backsplash to be done and then the under cabinet lights, and if budget permits lighting. Might be cutting close to India trip.
Daughter doesn't have dining table to have her meals which is rather messing with her routine.
I need to have a social life. I need friends. But i dont make an effort to talk to my neighbours.
I hate change.
Not sure I am so down in the dumps. I may feel too awkward to read this later. I wanted to crib, to vent, to get it out of my system hopefully. And do something to fix these.
Happiness is from within. Nothing can make you happy if you choose to be sad. And nothing can make you sad if you decide to be happy. |
Hi SK
Hope i lived close to you to be of some help to you or have you over for a cup of tea.Slow down and do one good thing at a time.
How about our lunch plans,we should meet?
It will all pass and you are going to have a great celebration back home.And dont worry about the weight gain ,you will lose it all once you are back .Dont forget to enjoy what you like ,but make sure not to overindulge.Come on,smile for me,please?