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| Reality Check |
| Monday, January 15, 2007 |
Good morning.
I have decided to blog more often. I want to capture most of my everyday moods here, so I can look back to see how I have evolved. It sure will be fun.
Ok, so I am up, DH and Bro have left, its funny, weekends are so busy even though we dont do much. The weekend chores of laundary and diswashing and cooking and cleaning themselves take up so much of the time. The past few weekends have been so busy, with one thing or the other, we never got a chance to do something fun.
Last weekend, one red eye flight messed it up. We ended up sleeping for 11 hrs on both days. It was bliss, it made us ready for the week. This weekend was okay. We went swimming on Saturday. It was a lot of fun. Swimming is a good exercise, as I read somewhere it tones and shapes your body naturally. But what about my hair! It needs special treatment after every swimming session.
Obviously we were soo sleeepy after that. But I didnt sleep neither did I let DH sleep. *Chuckle* Result - Splitting headache all of Sunday. I am not sure if it was my contacts, or a genuine headache. I get so irritable when I have a headache. My temper shoots right up.
I wrote this piece yesterday, my head was obviously crowded with thoughts, I had to let some out. It is not complete but I stopped myself from carrying on this useless stream of thought, and gave it up.
"I guess this is one of those days when my mind cannot stop spinning the wheels and churning our thoughts after thoughts, all varied in texture,rich in color.
I had a chat with one of my really old friend yesterday, I knew her since I was in Std 11. What we talked does not matter, it was just the usual mundane topics. But getting in touch with someone from my past, kindled some thoughts in me.
Every person is different, they have their own personal traits, characteristics, behavior etc. To a certain extent their surroundings and the people around them influence the way they grow, develop their various attributes. What is amazing is the way people change. A once shy person, changes to a chatter-box. Someone you thought was headstrong, turns out to be down to earth. Yada yada, so on.
I looked deeper into myself, to see how things have changed me. I often complain that my friends have changed, they are not the same person I knew earlier. It shocked me when I realized I had changed too. A LOT.
I look at myself, the different masks I wear, day in and day out, sometimes pretending to be what I am not, to jell with the surroundings. I have my own doubts about who I am REALLY AM.
Sometimes I wish I could tear off the mask and show the world who I really am. But I cannot. Because I fear, without my mask I will be totally vulnerable to the ugly claws of the world, which would tear my face and make me unrecognizable. People like to see a certain face of you, and you wear that mask, just because people around you like it, and that makes you happy."
Now, its Monday, no time for retrospection or introspection. To heck with all that, I have a hell lot of work to do.
PS: And yes, pliss to read my previous post too. |
posted by SK @ 6:20 AM  |
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| 8 Comments: |
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read several postings in your new blog. you really write wonderful Sandhya Kannan.
-bald doctor
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thanks for the mention in the previous post!
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Doctor sir,
Sari sari, when are you planning to start your blog? :--D
Sparkie,
My pleasure! :--)
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I look at myself, the different masks I wear, day in and day out, sometimes pretending to be what I am not, to jell with the surroundings.
I think we have best friends and close family just so we can be ourselves without pretending :-)! Its nice na to know that some people at least love you for exactly what you are :-)!
Yeah, to heavy thoughts for an already moody Monday - cheer up :-)! It's still Tuesday only *sigh*!
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when i can write as good as you...
seriously, i prefer reading these days than writing.
have lost the casual writing totally after all these years of proposals and papers. may be after i go back to india..
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mm...have thought abt such stuff for a long time..but understood that life is too short to complicate stuff..:)
so now a days my policy is "HAKUNAMATATA" :)
good post sandhya....
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Something along these lines........
unearthed from my stash :).
WE wear the mask that grins and lies,
It hides our cheeks and shades our eyes,—
This debt we pay to human guile;
With torn and bleeding hearts we smile,
And mouth with myriad subtleties.
Why should the world be over-wise,
In counting all our tears and sighs?
Nay, let them only see us, while
We wear the mask.
We smile, but, O great Christ, our cries
To thee from tortured souls arise.
We sing, but oh the clay is vile
Beneath our feet, and long the mile;
But let the world dream otherwise,
We wear the mask!
-- Paul Laurence Dunbar (1872-1906)
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hey Arch,
Yes, but we dont get to talk/interact with our best friends and family as often as we would like to no? :--(
Doc,
Side-la en writing-a nakkal panneetteenga la? :--) You should write, you talk and think so much about so many things, it will be nice to record them all somewhere you can even publish it sometime :--)
IBH,
:--) Yes, I have realized that is so much easier. Life is really tooo short.
Altoid! Welcome! :--)
Great poem! Thanks for sharing. Looks like I am not the only one who feels that way. :--)
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read several postings in your new blog. you really write wonderful Sandhya Kannan.
-bald doctor