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| Sleep training toddler |
| Saturday, November 23, 2013 |
I know! I am already blogging everyday and now I have an extra blog to write. I feel these are some important milestones for BSK and I dont want to not document them. Also since Daisy asked. :--)
The definition of sleep training probably varies. My version is not making her sleep in her own room, I will wait a few more months before I take on that.
Before I go into what I did, I will state the problem I was trying to solve. If it is not a problem, there is nothing to be solved right.
BSK was good sleeper in her first year of existence. By 6 weeks she was sleeping 6hrs at night. Doctor said, you are lucky parents! Since she slept well at night anyway, I didnt bother to try to make her sleep on her own. I would take her to bed in our room on our bed, let her play with my hair for 30mins and let her fall asleep. Then I would pick up and put her in her crib. Worked very well.
Trouble started when she hit her 1 year mark. Her sleep pattern changed as she started doing REM sleep or whatever. She would wake up at around 11:30 or 1 or 2. It was the time when we were getting accustomed to a routine with only the three of us. Not easy. Whenever BSK woke up, DH would be the first one to be awake, I am a heavy sleeper, DH would just bring her to our bed. This was a pattern for almost a year. I dont know how we managed to do this for a year. BSK became bigger, and by her 2 year mark, her cries in the middle of the night were much louder and the queen bed became much too uncomfortable for the three of us with her making circles and just plain snuggling as close to me as possible, and add to that pulling my hair.
Waking up in the middle of the night became a routine. I had less energy every day. I went to the doctor and she said apart from being low on Vitamin D I need to fix my night routine. She suggested sleeping in different rooms taking turns, etc, or training her to sleep on her own. There was a third option, buying a Cal King.
The nightmare was getting worse and worse but sleeping training was daunting.
One fine day, we were totally fed up with no sleep and hearing stories about going to sleep being as simple as tucking the kid into bed seemed like heaven, we decided to take up sleep training. she was 2 years and three months I think.
We converted her crib into a toddler bed. But put her bed close to ours. Then we filled her bed with all her stuffed toys. We got her her own pillows, blanket, we let her select them too. We got her excited about her bed. Amma-appa bed and BSK's very own bed. She was excited. But come night she climbed into our bed.
First week was the hardest. She cried a LOT. That happened to be the week DH was in Boston. And I had started potty training too. First day she cried for 2 hours. She wanted me hair. I was very strict about not letting her use my hair to fall asleep. I was angry too, because I was tired. She cried herself to sleep. I threatened her, I was angry at her, I ignored her. Add on top In Laws who thought I was torturing my little daughter. Hardest day.
The next day I felt so guilty, I decided to try another approach. I decided I would reinforce the fact that I will be there for her always. That she can come and hug me whenever she wants.Again took 2 hours for her to sleep and some 200 huggies, I am not kidding. Every other second she wanted a huggy. And I obliged. She should know I am not punishing her or throwing her into exile by putting her in her own bed. I told her I am right there beside her in my bed. I also took her to her bed much earlier like by 7:30. So she had enough time to bathe, read a book, cuddle some before getting ready to bed. That helped too.
I have to confess someday we tell her wee willy winkie would come if she doesnt sleep. She resists sleep a lot. So that will be the last resort.
I would make everything boring after lights were turned off. She did try to distract me. Ask for water, ask for mumum, ask to go potty. As days passed by hugs were still exchanged but she would sleep off within 30mins. Without needing to be scared. I would pretend to sleep in my bed, with lights off. And she would sleep the whole night, that was a miracle. It was heaven to have a good night's sleep with no interruptions. I think she does wake up in the night, but goes back to sleep, because it is not a surprise for her to find her in her bed, like the crib was.
Now she is scared of the dark. She doesnt like it if we turn off the lights completely. So I got a small night lamp for her. So I put that on at night. She is ok. She needs to read a lot of books before sleeping. If I prepare her for sleep by telling her after which book we will sleep she is usually ok.
She does not come on to our bed now, that is a good thing. Unless I tell her it is ok. Just to get that concept for her also took a while, a struggle. She would just snuggle into my bed in the first week and I would tell her to go back.
The main trick is consistency. Some heartache is bound to be there but I think it is worth it in the end. Kids are creatures of habits and how much! One week is enough for them to gain a good habit, or to lose one.
Next battle will be to move her to her own room, not sure when we will do that. So far her sleeping in her own bed and sleeping on her own like like heaven.
So what worked -
- Consistency
- some heartache, hold your heart, cry some tears, but dont let go, it is hardest before it gets better
- building trust
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posted by SK @ 9:28 PM  |
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| 2 Comments: |
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SK:
I have some qs on the course with stanford, is there an email id i can contact u with?
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Sure! :--)
saranya.kish@gmail.com
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SK:
I have some qs on the course with stanford, is there an email id i can contact u with?