Ramblings Only

- friends were visiting so morning was spent feeding the kids and catching up. Both of us are moving, renting, etc etc. nice to catch up

- got my expense reports done, one boring thing out of the way. Many more boring things to take care of before vacation

- got some new clothes for vacation, picked out clothes for myself and daughter. Not going crazy with shopping, we are taking our backpacks only. It is sort of a family backpacking trip. Booked some trains, some sights to see. Feeling more prepared.

- went to Target and daughter is like ' I want to buy something I like' I ask her what and ' I don't know I have to see everything to know what I like!' And this is how window shopping starts in girls I guess!!! She takes after my mother ;--P and there is no one she is imitating I can assure you it is all in the genes.

- icecream for Father's Day, dotter made many cards. What can I say about my dad. He gave me the best he can, stretching himself to do what he thought was the best for me. Every parent does that, every parent wants the best for their child. If not for my dad who was the first graduate in his family, I would be in the village married to a farmer tending to cows and fields. I am eternally thankful to my dad and for giving me this life, which I do not seem to appreciate. Everyone has cousins who they can associate with. Let me tell you about some of my cousins. One was in military died at 40 some thing of a heart attack, leaving 4 children who my father helped getting them into college. One is in Chennai in a railway job. One is in trichy married to our Maama also sort of a cousin, a bus driver. One cousin younger than me is a professor in a college. I cannot associate with any of them. 

And then I wonder if it is me, something is wrong with me that I don't associate. I cannot seem to keep in touch with friends, although I do miss them a lot. Do I have too much ego? I don't actually. But I cannot get hurt. Well I get hurt very easily, typical crab and I stay away or disconnect from friends once I feel they can hurt me. I lose friends. Watched a Hugh Grant movie 'About a boy' while cooking. He talks about how Men are like islands. I think I am one. Although I do need people to make me happy. What a mess I am.