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| A hundred words about nothing |
| Wednesday, August 13, 2008 |
Let me crib first.
I am frustrated about some things. Let me tell you some secrets about me.
I am the most disorganized person you will ever meet. I am ashamed to say what I did. I hit me hard. My procastinating attitude, from costing me petty things, and petty money, might amount to costing something really big. It is a wake up call. I havent worn pressed clothes since I left India. I sometimes wear them right from the dryer, hoping if the stretch while I wear it would remove the creases. I know, shame on me. Moving on, I am also very lazy. I dont do things unless it is really late, queen, no princess of procastination. My drive is the tension from doing things the last minute. I know it is going to come and bite me at the wrong time. What else. I am very selfish, I think, I spend many hours thinking about myself, sometimes wallowing in self pity, sometimes self adoration, depending on my mood. I dont care much for money, as much as I care for respect. Sometimes I love me, most times I just hate myself.
Ok, so now that I have listed the things about me that have been bothering me, I have to chart a plan of action for improvement.
A teeny ray of hope for me, is the fact that I have been able to control my weight. After struggling with it for many years, finally, I am at a stage where workout is a habit, and I am eating consciously everyday, without starving myself, and still maintaining a decent weight. So there is still hope.
I need to imbibe some new habits, take baby steps and work on changing myself, to become a better person. When I am too content with what I am, complacency kills the drive to be better.
Ok with cribbing done, let me move on to the good side of my life.
DH is undoubtedly the best thing that has happened to me. I see TV episodes with couples, or read stuff about couples, and most times I feel I am the guy, :--(. I know, very bad.
Having family is super duper fun. I wish I didnt have to go to work. Home food everyday is super duper great. I get pampered silly, and I am enjoying every minute of it.
There are some hiccups along the way but nothing that couldnt be fixed.
Visited good old school in Madison, brought back some memories, cant make up my mind on whether they are good or bad.
Chicago failed to amaze me. Sad. I remember craning my neck in awe seeing the tall buildings, enjoying the energy in the crowd, many years ago. Niagara Falls, was a downer, I felt like I had already seen it, in soo many pictures from soo many friends.
Sick of long flights. No more flying for the next few months.
Mood: konjam happy, konjam frustrated, 50-50. |
posted by SK @ 6:55 PM  |
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| 7 Comments: |
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Oh! You are in my area a? Ootanda vanda sollu. We will meet.
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hmmm it's gonna be alright!
Very Ok like post...
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From another disorganized person, hugs! Baby steps are the best way to go about changing and inculcating new habits! Don't be too harsh on yourself :)
Haven't been to Chicago but I remember I was quite awed by Niagara despite the many many pictures...
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You are not alone... I tend to do like this almost everyday... even if try to change... I cant... its me... how can I be someone else when deep down... I know I'm not behaving like myself... (here comes self adoration I guess)
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Ok, cha miss pannitten, didnt strike. Now back in west coast.
Adi,
Yeah its nice to write straight from heart.
Akay,
Whoa! Am I glad to see some as disorganized as me! ;--)) Am ok now.
Niagara.. somehow didnt impress me at all.
Anon, its true, I am torn between being my own self, the bad self and trying to be a good person. Ah the ordeals we have to go through. :--D
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Landed on this blog from coconut chutney... couldn't help noticing that we share common traits:).. procrastination,self pity,self adoration...been bothering me too...Oh and I love your blog:)
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Landed on this blog from coconut chutney... couldn't help noticing that we share common traits:).. procrastination,self pity,self adoration...been bothering me too...Oh and I totally love your blog:)
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Oh! You are in my area a? Ootanda vanda sollu. We will meet.