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| Truth hurts |
| Monday, November 30, 2009 |
I have deliberately not written anything about my India trip. Its true that time heals everything, time make everything in the past look rosy, time makes everything from the past look better or worse that it actually was. Basically time exaggerates.
The first night I spent in India in my old room, where I spent nights studying, chatted/fought for hours on the phone with many friends, browsed on my age old computer, listened to Minnale/Alaipayuthe songs on my Aiwa, full sound,.. and so on, memories just came flooding back, like a dam across the river broke. Everything seemed so long ago.
It was as long as it seemed. Too long. So long that people no longer exactly remembered me, or more painfully, missed me.
When I left to the US the first time, the things I was grateful for, I had forgotten. I forgot that women are treated like second citizens, next to men. I forgot that women were expected to behave in a certain way, be docile. More so if one is married.
The high point was our Bangalore apartment house warming ceremony, where I was forced to wear stuff I didnt really want to wear. Why cannot people let people be? Why do they force others to do things they dont want to do? Why do we have to give in the name of 'respect'? Why do the age old meaningless traditions still exist? I am not much of a people person, I kinda like to be on my own, just be with people I really like and am really comfortable with and only do stuff I want to do. Too many people, while it is fun for sometime, I long for some solitude pretty soon.
I dont like the cheating attitude of people. Even when in India I have lived in this world of Utopia, I can never bargain, I find it cheap. I know, it sound atrocious, but thats just me. I would rather give that extra money to the seller and let him have it, than bargain left right for that little money. But in India buying anything is all about bargaining. Left to myself, anyone can cheat me thin, gullible as I am.
Women are not respected. Period. Did I say that already? I noticed so many times even in the hi-fi Bangalore. Anyone DH and I talked to, they always talked to only DH first, as if I were non-existent. I had to butt in rather deliberately to be taken notice of. Why? I came back here and noticed that even the cab driver had the courtesy to wish me individually, looking at me in the eye.
Trip to India has made me feel old. What with everyone pestering me to have a baby, what with BIL and his wife, the newly weds, falling on our feet for our blessings, just because we happened to be 3 years elder to them!, what with DH's oor friends visiting us with toddlers in tow.
So, its not the dirt, or the traffic, or the crowd or the stink that bugs me. Its really the people's attitude. Sad, but true.
All this inspite of having amazingly understanding In-laws and Parents and DH. None of them pestered me, because they knew me. It was all the third party people that bugged the heck out of me.
So finally it was a three week terribly hectic 'vacation' - Chennai-Velankanni-Chennai-Tuticorin-Madhurai-Tuticorin-Bangalore-Chennai-Thirupathi-Chennai
No flights, all second class train or bus or van in the sweltering heat. After all we are the middle class people of India. A vacation which I cannot say I enjoyed all of it, I did enjoy parts of it, but some of it, no. And now I have to make up for those three weeks of work hours lost before end of the year which I find totally impossible. But try I will.
PS: I just had to get it out of my system. A happy version of India trip will follow suit if time and mood permit. |
posted by SK @ 8:11 PM  |
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| 9 Comments: |
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Achacho! But SK remember
"Swargame endralum adu namba ooru pola varuma"
What you experienced is our country. That's our culture. They are our people.
When you are in trouble the cab driver who is polite to you wont help. It is the pakkathu vetu gossiping mami who is more likely to help you.
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I agree heartily. While I enjoy part of my 'vacation' am frustrated by how much of it goes in hypocrisy and pandering to every body else's wishes but mine. But like you say the good moments outweigh the bad and that is the reason i keep going back. year after year. :)
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I agree, left to ourselves, any place can be heaven. It's the people who come in the way!
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I have to say these are the reasons i am dreading going back with my infant..the attitude sucked even when I WAS there ..I am sure I will hate it even more so this time.
I agree with everypoint you have mentioned and even when I do not work here, I like it here. No comfort and all that, just the peace of being myself
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I'm going to go and come back and write a post. Right now am thinking, no, these things can't affect me. Affect the whole experience. But I may very well be wrong.
I promise to be back and link to this :)
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dont really share the sentiment, i like being in india SK, anyday!
every place has its negatives.
but agree on the women-thingy!
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I agree with most of your points SK. The fact is we have to learn to ignore a bulk of sentiments and statements directed at us. Anyway, most people come at you with an attitude"Why do you care? You are in the US!", so it is easier to ignore.
Though I am saying that, it is rather hard to ignore, and we shall have to keep practising to get better at it
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Hmm, I can't wait to get back to India, walk in the crowded T-Nagar area, eat at the local road-side bhajji kadai, fight with Auto karan, visit 5000 temples with Amma etc etc...
Either I just love being there or I haven't been in America for long enough!
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Mr Bodhi,
I agree. :--)
I doubt gossiping Mami would also help ;--)
Laksh, :--) True. if only those bab moments werent there.
Gradwolf, I can sense some sarcasm. :--)
Just me,
My exact sentiments. Seriously, with baby I cannot even imagine. If my house did feel like mine, cannot say anything about the baby . :--)
Nandini, PLease do! I want to know if its just me ;--)
Sachita,
Wait till you get married ;--)
Saumya,
I am glad to see someone understands. :-) And yes we have to learn to have some patience.
Kaushik,
no no, its just that you are a guy :--) You will be treated like royalty in India why wouldnt you like to be in India. :--)
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Achacho! But SK remember
"Swargame endralum adu namba ooru pola varuma"
What you experienced is our country. That's our culture. They are our people.
When you are in trouble the cab driver who is polite to you wont help. It is the pakkathu vetu gossiping mami who is more likely to help you.