Ramblings Only

- Crappy job, it was a decent job, but it felt crappy to me then

- Lonely, I had some friends, but I refused to mingle

- Didnt fit in, I could have but I wanted more

- Depressed

- And DH comes onsite

Those days really feel dark. I am pretty sure I was clinically depressed. I dont like to think about those days. They feel dark and hopeless. I think it stemmed from me having lived a very sheltered life, not really facing any true failures until then. I had a lot of time. I could have taken up marathon running, or volunteered with non profit, or prepare for gmat, or do anything worthwhile. I whiled away my time day dreaming, not being present. It was then I stumbled into the world of blogging. I spent copious amounts of time on the internet and had more virtual friends than real friends.

I thought of DH as a rope of hope from the deep well of sorrow. We decided to get married and immediately told our parents. I just had to cry to my father and he agreed. His Dad already had a bride ready for him when he went back after his assignment. It was one year before we would get married. Both our parents are warm civilized people. No one spoke ill of the other, they just wanted their children to be happy. DH and I just wanted to get married. I didnt plan an elaborate wedding. I was a guest in my own wedding. FIL asked me to lose weight. I was depressed and had put on weight like crazy.  Lot of discussions happened, how to have the wedding etc etc. 

I didnt like my job anyway and was planning to interview to move back to India. I attended interviews 3 days after my wedding. I had two offers in India. In the mean time DH worked out an onsite assignment right after our wedding. It somehow worked out and we decided we will stay until his assignment ends in the US. Back to my crappy job I thought. 

But good news awaited me when we landed in US. two offers from my (then) dream company. Move to California! Lots of amazing friends, normal ones, not high and mighty ones. DH was in the East Coast, my weekend husband. We traveled like crazy. I loved my team and the people. it was generally a good time in 2005, economy was looking up I think, lot of jobs. 

Multiples of 5 years, 1990, 1995, 2000, 2005, 2010, 2015 have been good for me ;--)

2016 has so far been crappy.