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| Birth and beyond |
| Sunday, June 05, 2011 |
Once dilation reaches 10cm, the second stage of labor can begin which is the actual birth of the baby. There are stations where the baby is with respect to the pelvis, and BSK was at +1 station. More complications appeared. In addition to pressure checks my temperature was also taken every 30 mins, for fever meant an infection, which meant the baby might not be far off getting it! At 5:30 my temperature jumped to 101F,until then it had stayed constant around 98F. I was itching to get the baby out.
The doc also observed that my pelvis was narrow and the baby might find it difficult to squeeze through. Now this was something I totally didnt expect. I am by no means small framed, but apparently pelvis size has nothing to do with how big a person is outside. I kept asking the doc if the baby will be out safe and she said a woman never makes a baby she cannot deliver, so we will try and do our best. And anyway the two docs, the current one and the one in the new shift went about discussing when I should start pushing, if we should wait for the contractions to push the baby further down so pushing is easier or start pushing right away since it was already late and I had a fever. These moments were kind of scary.
I started pushing around 6pm. The next doc was an indian. I purposefully didn't choose an Indian obgyn because I find them to be judgmental and kind of rude. Just my luck. When she came in only she said, "we are going to push and get the baby out and it needs to be done fast since it's been a long time since your water broke, the baby might be infected". I found her to be quite insensitive. Awesome nurse's shift would be over by 7 but she said she will stay back deliver the baby and leave. How sweet of her!
I thought my Mom might want to be there during the delivery so DH and my Mom were in the room. But my Mom couldn't see me in that condition and had tears in her eyes even before anything started. So I told her she can stay outside and we will call when the baby was here. My heart reached out to her. And I understood at least a tenth of what she must have gone through a few hours later when tiny BSK was poked mercilessly for various tests after birth.
DH stood by my side and his job was to count from 1 to 10 as I pushed. Nurse told me how to push. I could feel the pressure from each contraction. I was supposed to push three times during each contraction, each push lasting 10 seconds. Initially I had energy, the nurse was encouraging, I kept pushing. Time passed, 1 hr and I was still pushing. The baby was just about there struggling to get through the narrow pelvis. We decided to take a break and not push for one contraction,and at the exact time the Indian doc decided to show up. As she saw me resting and not pushing through a contraction, she rudely said, " I told you you have to get the baby out soon, it's already late and she might need to be taken to the SCN ( Special care Nursery) to get checked for issues. The sooner she comes the better. It is your responsibility to get her out fast. Now PUSH". This was definitely not the tone or the words I wanted to hear at that very vulnerable time. I was all tears after that, pretty shook up. I almost felt like giving up. I whispered to DH, "I cannot push anymore, I cannot." And the doc heard it and was rude again saying "don't say I cannot, don't waste your energy crying." I continued pushing at every contraction, imagining the baby coming out with each push, I almost willed the baby to come out. By 7:30, i had been pushing for 1.5hrs, and the baby was just about there, apparently they could see the head. DH saw it too. They brought a mirror and showed it to me but i couldnt make out anything, i could only see blood all over. I meekly asked if i can have a c section. I was at the verge of giving up and the rude doc was not helping. She immediately said, "c section? Why c section? We could have done it yesterday, why did we have to wait for so long to do a c section?". Then she probably realized i was very close to giving up, so added some words of encouragement. " couple more pushes, you are almost there." I still don't know how I did it, just like she said two more contractions and I think the baby was crowning. I felt like I had a basketball between my legs. At the exact time the doc asked me to wait before pushing next, and got everything ready. There were many people in the room now. Baby warmer and other delivery related items were brought in I guess. Then she told me to push and with that I felt the baby slide out. Phew! Time of birth 7:46pm.
I immediately heard baby SK's cry, and she was wiped and put on me. I was so deliriously happy, words cannot describe my feelings. So this is the lady I saw when she was just a fetal pole 7mm in length when I was 8 weeks pregnant. And this is the knee that butted out of my tummy a couple of weeks back. She had lot of hair. She was crying her lungs out. Her gift to me for bringing her out, meconium, her first stool, right on me. She can only give what she has right?
I was hooked to more pitocin to get the placenta out, I felt that sliding out too. Then nurse was massaging my tummy to help my uterus contract. Then the stitching began, I had second-degree tears. I purposefully ignored what was happening to me, I don't even remember when DH cut the umbilical cord I was so busy taking in the baby. I think I mumbled a lot of things looking at the baby, I dont remember.
Then they weighed her. She weighed 5 lbs and 7oz. What?! Seriously? After all I ate? After all the pounds I put on?? She was so tiny! I couldn't believe it. And my pelvis was too small to bring her out? She was on the lower side of birth weight which meant more tests, like blood sugar, CBC etc. Oh that was another unexpected turn.
Parents came and spent some time with us, another friend came by to see us with our dinner. Finally I had something to eat since 1pm the previous day. Parents left home with the friend. The nurse wanted me to empty my bladder so the uterus can contract normally. She came with me, I sat there, I couldn't, and I was feeling dizzy, I just walked back as fast as I could to the bed. I felt like throwing up. I asked DH to find the pan quick. It was great timing, DH brought the pan right when I threw up my dinner. I had to try to empty my bladder within the next hour, else catheter again!, the nurse warned me.
All the tests they did on BSK is kind of blurry to me. Usual new born tests and more tests because of her low brith weight, and more tests for fear of infection. But THANK GOD she did perfectly fine on all accounts and she didn't have to be taken to the Special Care Nursery. She was with us all through our stay at the hospital. Of course feeding nightmare started right away. We didnt get much sleep through the night.
Along with my temperature the baby's temperature was also taken every so often. I was put on antibiotics since I continued to have temperature. Since the birth, days and nights kind of blurred, everything was in 2 hr slots, feeding and changing seemed to be our way of life. As epidural wore off, I was given some Motrin and Vicodin alternatively. But the pain seemed to return slowly. I have to say I was prepared for Pregancy and labor but totally unprepared for post partum pain. It is the mother of all pains, since I didnt quite go through labor pain. The docs wanted to monitor us through the next day. My temperature dropped, all of baby's tests came back normal, and we finished the paper work. BSK had her first bath with the nurse. They moved us to a smaller room for the night, which was too small, with the thermostat not working properly, and not much space to move around and with a really bad bed.
The next day we were looking forward to going home. My doc came looked at me gave me the ok, the pediatrician came by looked at the baby and suggested supplementing BSK with Formula until my mature milk came in because she was so tiny and she might lose a lot of her weight if she didn't get enough to feed immediately. She lost 5.2% of her birth weight in a day. That was the breaking point for me, tears welled up in my eyes. May be it was the hormones too. I so didn't want the baby to be on Formula. The pediatrician assured me it was only for a day or so. We did the pain in the neck SNS. We were asked to go to the Urgent Care for a weight check the next day, it being a Saturday. It was almost as if they didn't trust me to feed the baby and keep her healthy. May be it was just the hormones or the lack thereof.
We finally got home by 4pm. She was so tiny in the car seat. She was dressed in her going home outfit. Mom did arathi as we entered. Since then life has been revolving around the little baby, who seems to be enjoying all the attention and is growing to be very obstinate and stubborn already, letting out a high pitched wail for anything she wants us to notice. Newborns do grow fast. First week she was so fragile, I was so scared. I have to provide for her and take care of her and keep her alive, what a huge responsibility. My initial concerns were if the house is sterile enough, should I wash my hands every time I touch her. Should i wash anything that comes intouch with her. I can get obsessive about cleanliness.
It was when everyone who saw her wondered about how tiny she is that I realized she is just too small for a full term baby. I haven't stopped wondering why that was the case. Turns out birth weight is more genetic once Mom's nutrition is taken care of. So yeah, I was scared about having a big baby for nothing! Now I have to make sure she feeds well and puts on some healthy weight. What irony! But little miss has been feeding great. She has put on a full lb by her two week appointment.
It was today that I looked at BSK and found humor in things she does. In spite of being only 2weeks old her face can conjure up so many many emotions from sheer frustration to absolute boredom.
Here are some of the things she does already -
- hunger is the most primal instinct. While the first week, we put alarms for every 3 hours to feed her, and ended up spending close to an hour trying to wake her up, now we let her wake up when she is hungry. Oh when she is hungry, she can wail her lungs out. Once she is fed the peace on her face is unmatchable, she goes to sleep right away.
- her eyebrows show a lot of her emotions too, from they knotting as she sleeps and someone tries to disturb her, to they raising to show content.
- oh she sombal murichifies! She sleeps for two mins but sombal murichifies for twenty mins. She raises both her hands and stretches her whole body. Absolute cutest.
- she smiled in her sleep on her 6th day. Apparently it is a reflex. Babies go in and out of different types of sleep. Active sleep is where she coos and sighs and smiles and rotates her eyes in her sleep. Quiet sleep is where even an earth quake cannot wake her.
- another reflex of hers is getting startled every time we disturb her in her sleep. She puts both her hands and legs up in the air, without opening her eyes of course.
I always ask friends for baby pictures once I get the news and have wondered how come Mom's seldom appear in the pictures. But seriously it has been so tiringly busy, every three hour break between feedings there is some thing or the other to be done. I am still recovering, as I said I was not prepared for the post partum pains, i am slowly healing, had to go to the doc multiple times in the past two weeks. DH has been an amazing help. I love the way he talks to BSK like she is a big girl. She doesn't understand anything, but she get quiet as she hears his voice droning away often even in the middle of the night to get her to sleep. I was pretty overwhelmed and a bit sad too, suffering from what is called baby blues. So I haven't really had the mood to take pictures. Thankfully my mom had been taking a lot of pictures so I will have memories of these eventful weeks,
Here is a picture of BSK, a few hours old taken at the hospital.
DH goes to work tomorrow, I am already dreading trying to manage without him, but I think it will be fine. I don't want to think about going back to work now. For now I am looking forward to a few more weeks with BSK and getting to watch her grow.
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posted by SK @ 2:36 PM  |
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| 16 Comments: |
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SK, BSK is one sweet baby. Love her tiny lips. She looks so alert! Congratulations to you and Mr SK!!
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SK: I have skipped reading this story because .. :) it is scary to imagine. but the baby looks very cute it has one of the clearest face for a new born baby that i have seen. And love to read her antics.
Take care of yourself. SK.
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Pretty scary reading. Congrats again to both of you. Good luck with the new life :) Great to see you post within 3 weeks of delivery!
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awesome !! and baby SK poses well too :-) we demand pics of the sombal murichi-fying !
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BSK is soooo cute!!! but why would you name her BSK?? When will we ever know her real name??!!
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Congrats, SK! Kudos to you on writing such a detailed post on the whole experience even after the baby.
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Oh she looks beautiful! What is her name? Really...haven't seen a newborn pose for a picture this clearly before :)
Best wishes to enjoy her.
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Laksh,
thankoo! I will let her know :--)
Sachita,
Thankoo. :--) and yes I do understand.
Spark, new life indeed ;--)
Kutti,
Will send some more pics your way when time permits ;--)
Porkodi,
Hahah coincidentally her initials are SK ;--) I have to keep her identity anonymous. ;--)
Anamika, I had to write my feelings down while they were fresh.
Saumya,
Congrats to you too! We want pics of Tucky! :--))
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I was lucky i read the post before it had been removed. Congratulations! :) Hope BSK is doing well.. but why did u remove the story.. it was surreal!
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Dint see the photos :( but congrats SK! So so good to hear! Really would be great if you repost the story and the photos? :-/
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Curlz, its too personal.. reposted, will keep it up for some more time and remove it. :--)
Preeti, ungalukkaga posted again :--D
Chutney, posted pic again!
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BSK is a shweetie, love her big black eyes :). Glad that you posted the birth stories again, man have you written in detail :-D. Hats off to your patience :). (BTW even I had those marks on my arms due to the blood pressure monitors :-p).
Glad that you got through the birth okay and glad that little BSK is doing well, its a real good story to tell her later btw, you can say what all difficulties you went through to have her ;-). And the tests that first babies go through are always tough on moms (babies don't have long memories, moms do :-D), just keep in mind that its all for their good :).
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lookie lookie!!! congrats!! I was out of touch for a month cos of travel and miss BSK has made an appearance!she looks lovely! kala tikka and all that!
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I can't even begin to describe how cute she is! Soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo super cute! Awwww! BEAUTIFULLLLLLLLLLLLLL! And the story, is exhilarating and intimidating at the same time. You did great SK! Be proud :)
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Deeps, Hope you and family are doing well. I remembered everything in great detail, and so dont want to forget :--D Yep, DH already has told me he will give her a piece of his mind if she disrespects me :--D
Daisy! Long time no see! Disappeared from blogdom! Hope all is well.
Preeti,
:--)) Thank you, you made my day
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SK, BSK is one sweet baby. Love her tiny lips. She looks so alert! Congratulations to you and Mr SK!!