Ramblings Only

Next time she has issues with her skin color, show her a picture of Aisha_Tyler (she came in Friends) and tell her how hot she is!! I am dark , but I have seen people darker than me looking much much better with stylish haircuts and great taste in clothes/accessories/fashion. Its all the personality and confidence that matters.

A little change in attitude thats what is needed here... Must change the focus from looks to different things...excel in everything you do,to be positive in the steps u take...life is so beautiful why should we be prisoners of 'color of the skin'? Take pride in whatever we are... We are bit on a darker side,so what?Embrace it and live up to it :) Beauty is never the color of the skin :)

Every person is beautiful in their own way. I am sure your princess is too. I know as parents it is a challenge and we question each step along the way if we are doing things right, but may be if she sees her positive features, she will truly appreciate and bloom into an even more beautiful person.

My sister has a wheatish complexion. All throughout childhood and teenage yrs, she had a complex. Added to tjat as kids, we used to tease her that she was adopted. I know cruel but as kids we didnt know better. Only when she stepped out of India and after being told by people that she has a wonderful complexion and seeing tanning craze she was able to get over this.

I wish as kids or adults we had this inherent ability to be self confident and be happy with our features, personality, but unfortunately that is not the case. I was shocked when my 5 yr oldson who has speech delays told me that he is brown. I was not able to understand how he even comprehended such a thing. I guess as kids it is their way of exploring their differences.

I think best would be identify their strengths and focus on building those. All the best

Oh Sk, this broke my heart! Can't believe kids get insecure about all this at age 5! But I also think you're raising her up in the best way :)

Books to the rescue...always works..
Please try reading story books that handle these...

Chocolates to sticky chikkis...are all brown and sweet..
The book -> Brown like...by funOKPlease, for starters...
http://www.funokplease.in/media.php?15

Am sure she and you will have lots of fun.

oh this broke my heart too!

My daughter has been complaining lately that none of the girls play with her and they are mean. Mostly Americans in her school so maybe that's why? she takes her lunch whereas others eat school food. lots of differences in how we raise, and maybe that is sensed and makes her an outcast? it's not the same as complexion and features, but the feeling from the child's perspective is the same.

I stand strong and keep giving her positivity, strength. Humor works great too. It's good they confide in us, and let us help them. As long as the channel of communication is open, we can help figure out a solution. Books are a great resource too.

Long time reader but first time commenting. This post was close to my heart.

I am a fair skinned girl with a darker skinned husband and my daughter has the exact skin color as him. People actually started sympathizing with me for my daughter's skin color. The girl started talking about how dark she is and how fair I am. She'd compare herself with everyone and fall short. We had several chats where I said we are all brown skinned, just different shades of brown and that there is nothing wrong with having dark over light. I've used all tactics including forbidding her to not talk about skin color and ignoring her when she's talk about it.

She is 9 now and pretty much got over the color complex. She is an amazing dancer, has a fun personality and is reasonably confident. The same people who've commented about her skin color when she was a baby rave about the girl she's become now. Being positive and supportive eventually helps. Also focus on building confidence by encouraging their skills. I am pretty sure you say and do all the right things, just keep in mind that while the result is not immediate it will be there eventually.

Hey, don't harp on this, keep exposing her to cool things - books, good movies, good activities, variety of people and soon she will learn the attitude herself! I for one am fair - as a kid I was made to think fair is beautiful - then as I grew up I started having insecurities about other things that were "imperfect" and once I "adulated" at about 20 years old - all of it changed for good! I am seriously not that person from 9 years ago! so I think it is all part of growing up! If not color, she will find something else to feel low about. Hehe! So while you should make sure she does not get too insecure about these, you also don't need to be too scared as long as you keep her exposed to "variety". :) Not sure if you remember me from old times!

adulted* got "autocorrected" to adulated lol.

Thanks ladies for the words of wisdom and tips. Sometimes I feel one has to go through the journey themselves before they come to term with it. They need our support through out the discovery process.

Porkodi, Yes I remember you, thanks for stopping by. ;--)

I want her to know that beauty is not skin deep. And confidence and personality is what matters.

Swapna, thanks will check out the book! I dont want to emphasize too much, since she is still too young.

Shachi,
I understand. I hope at some point they will learn to mingle beyond their differences. That is what makes it special.

SK: having seen your daughter's photos - A. she is good looking. B. We have pretty much every skin color in the place we live.
sort of shocked, she has this notion that her face is not pretty.