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| Out of the blue |
| Wednesday, November 01, 2006 |
Out of the blue, today I was reminded of this one friend from college. For a brief period of time, we were good friends. Those were the days when I was constantly on the phone talking to friends. I was a mouse in college, never really spent much time at the 'bunds', because I really cannot take any teasing, with anyone ever. If someone teased me, even for fun with some other guy, I would be in tears.
This friendship started like most of my close relationships in college, in our famous pre-final year tour. In my sixth semester I had so many friends, I never thought I would have so many people to talk to. I am usually a loner, introvert, shy, and all such adjectives. I never talked much with anyone in college except very few. So then the whole thing started. We used to discuss problems on the phone, discuss answers, topics, study together on the phone. He used to be one of my morale boosters, tension relievers during exam time, DH, of course being the other. It was a good relationship, just like any friendship from college days.
Sadly it came to an end rather abruptly. Now that I come to think of it, I dont even remember how it ended. I suppose both of us were as egoistic as the other. It started with something as silly as applying to schools in the US. Since we were a few of us applying, and we did not have seniors to guide us in the application procedures, we made up our own rules. That atleast the toppers should apply to different universities so we all can get admits. How silly of us. If we had applied to the same universities atleast we would have had friends when we came to the alien country. I know there was a gang in my school from a well known college in Chennai, while I was the only one from my college. What to do.
So one fine day, while following up on applications procedures, deciding on universities things got a little hot, I dont clearly remember how, and we parted ways in silence. Neither of us called the other that day. It was strange given we used to talk almost everyday on the phone. The silence lengthened and extended for days together, until it became awkward for one to be in the other's presence.
I called up the day he left to the US and wished him good luck. It was a curt 3 min call, left me all sweaty, but, hey, I did make an effort to make things right. We have been competitors in college for the topper position. He is a cool person, kept his head where it ought to be. He was a motivating fellow, helped me shun my self-doubts a bit. For a brief period, he even went on to pamper me a bit.
When in school, I once found him online, and talked with him, forgive and forget, and he agreed and accepted it. But still, I guess the rift was too much, the glass was broken, no point trying to mend it. Now we meet in gettogethers, say a customary hi, and a cordial bye, after all we were classmates, but both of us conveniently try to make it as less uncomfortable as possible. It has worked well till now, because both of us probably dont want to make a fuss.
Life goes on, no doubt, we make new friends, no doubt. But memories stay on, fresh in mind. Every friend I have had, has made an unmistakable impression in my life, each one will always be remembered, bringing back memories of those wonderful innocent funfilled days.
I have never been very good in maintaining friendships, I suppose. If the onus of the relationship were on me, I would be sure to jeopardize it. Only few friends, like dear DH, and one or two others, who completely totally understand me, can continue being friends with me, and I do a good job of walking all over them, taking full advantage. What a sicko I am! :--( Or rather was! I dont think I am like that any more. I am more matured and professional in my relations, or atleast pretend that I am, although deep inside, I am still a kid, looking for attention, and comfort.
Anyways.
Dont know, just felt like penning down my thoughts, my heart feels a wee bit lighter now than before, with the burden on paper.
PS: I know, its been long since I wrote such a 'from-the-heart' post. :--) Blame it on the deadline which is now behind me, and for upcoming more of such trash, blame it on the lazy weeks ahead at work. |
posted by SK @ 10:31 PM  |
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| 3 Comments: |
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oh, blame it on the work... enakku enna solradhunu teriyale?
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Hmm, can never tell what thought is going to pop up into your head next na :-)!
It feels so bad when a friendship goes sour - but try as you might, it is usually impossible to get it to the original state - only nostalgia and memories remain!
p.s. as for the previous post, I hope your Apple center gives you good news about your iPod :-)!
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LOL sparkie. Comment pannadhukku thanks. :--)
Archana,
Yess. You are so right :--(
I have update on my iPod in my next post. :--))
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oh, blame it on the work... enakku enna solradhunu teriyale?