Ramblings Only

Just ramblings, only a vent for emotions, feelings and all the good stuff

New look, a new day

Thursday, March 01, 2007

I am back.

I re-read my post from yesterday, and I am thinking, gosh what a loser I sound like. It is amazing what these dull moods can do to you. I am trying to get by them, slowly, conquering them, DH says I am doing a good job. [I should get a pat on my back for that.]

Today I am this different person altogether, not the cribbing whiny lazy oaf from yesterday.

I am getting old. So? You are as old as you think you are. Life gives back to you what you put in it. [I know. Too much philosophy for a weekday. But..] Its good to think of these things and put them in writing so that it goes away from your system. Like yesterday I wrote about it, today when I re-read it, I see a different point. [So, what I am trying to say here is, it helps..] I feel better.

Lately, [well, technically not lately, I should say, recently, for the past two years, since I got married ] I have taken great liking to home decor. I love setting up a home. Typical Cancerian aint I. Cancerians are supposed to be great home makers. They keep their homes warm and cosy. [ A tad untidy.. but, hey, you will never get to see it that way] I remember every single person who came to my place said I had a nice place, nice and cosy. Exactly what they said. [Now why did I start on this topic? Oh yes ] You see this place like my home on the web. I have made some effort to make it a sunny and happy place. Somewhere you would go to with a drink and a book in hand and laze for awhile. Well, content wise, there is almost nothing to read here, just a few cribs here and there, sprinkled with a few jokes, but I just want anyone dropping by to leave this place with a happy face, err, atleast a content face. So I will try my level best not to crib out here. Why is DH there for, if not to hear me crib. ;--)

A weird thought occurred to me today. [Actually just right now] Before I got married, being with DH my then BF [best friend, pervert], spending time with him, talking to him, everything was bliss, and dreamy. Because it just rarely happened. Once in a blue moon. Like we used to see each other 3 days in 1.5 years. But we talked on the phone 3 hrs a day, every day. So when you dont see this person for a long time, you build images and process them in your head, and you have this image in front of your eyes while talking to the person. I used to imagine a lot. Of me and DH. Walking by the beach, playing running and catching by the beach, bare foot, walking on the lonely pathway in the woods, hand in hand, reading books lying tummy down on the grass, foot facing the skies... [you see where I am going?] I used to imagine us as every single boy and girl in Kim Anderson posters, to put it in a nutshell and save me some time.

Everything was perfect. Picture perfect.

But you see, life is not perfect. Only pictures are.

We [or should I say I] made a to-do list of the things we should do, after we get married. Which included most of the things I have stated above. We did do all of those things. But you know what, they werent half as tickly as I thought they would be! Surprise! Ta da! Why? Because I think girls put way too much energy in imagining things. And, the whole excitement and enthusiasm is justified only when it is imagined in the head. Like a picture. Picture perfect.

But we girls want the perfection in real life too. Which is asking for too much in my opinion. Th excitement of first love lasts no longer than a couple of years. There is research proof for that. [Really there is. Its got to do with the elevation of hormone levels when in love and how it cannot last for more than a year. I mean which dumbo scientist guy would sit and research on that? Someone with really no other interesting topic to chose for his PhD]

So we cant expect men to bring flowers everyday, shower you with kisses everyday yada yada.

When life gets too busy to indulge in such things, its the actions that speak of the love. Him making coffee for you in the morning or cooking a meal for dinner because you are tired talks of his love. Him putting his career on hold for a while just so you could get a foot hold on your career, is his way for showing he cares. Him living in a dingy single room in a house with five other people, surviving on readymade masalas from the Indian store all week, while he could just yank you to where he lives so you can cook for him forgetting your career, speaks volumes of his love.

My mood varies like a sinusoidal wave. I am happy and on top of the world for half a cycle, and in the trough for the other half. Yesterday I made a weird analogy. I was a Phoenix. Rising from ashes, reborn, almost like a new person.
I wonder what makes a person happy? What makes a person sad? It amazing how the mind reacts to various things around you. The same thing can make you feel happy or sad at different times. Its way more complicated than we think. Scientists still dont have explanation for some big questions about our mind/brain.

I was forwarded this article about how Depression is now more commonly found in software professionals in India. Is it true? Here is my take. Software professionals are well paid, so they ideally should be happy and content than road side pan shop walas.

Here is my take on depression, I have been there too:

Depressions comes because nowadays people want more and more and more. They are not content with what they have in their lives. They want promotion, pay hikes, huge house, beautiful spouses and what not.
Contentment is the key to leading a non-depressed life.

Living alone. Yes, that can totally do it to you. Man is a social animal. It is difficult for him to survive alone. He needs friends, roommates, and other people to socialize with. Most software professionals, they live away from family, because they work in big cities. They are paid high enough to afford a house for themselves, and thus sit home alone.
Socialization is a key to leading a non-depressed life.

Success has been grossly misunderstood by many leading to depression. Success in not reaching THE height before everyone else. Success is reaching your goals, not the goal itself, but the journey towards it.

They say its the stress of work. Yes, it is stressful to sit in an airconditioned office, with free food, everything just a foot away, and the world wide web just a click away. People of the old day were not depressed because they had to struggle hard to make ends meet, and they were happy if there were able to. And I think they were pretty stressed out too, much more so than us. We can blame the work culture to a certain extent, where one is expected to be online/available 24hrs a day, its like you are married to work. Having a life outside of work, will help reduce stress. For what I know, software professionals in India spend all their waking hours at office, including Saturdays and Sundays.

In my opinion India is becoming more capitalistic slowly, just like US, survival of the fittest, the struggle is what is increasing depression. Rather than working to reach our own goals, we try to reach the goals set by somebody else. It robs you of the pleasure of the journey, because its not your goal!

Hm, funny, I talked about you leaving with a happy face from my blog, I see a very confused face. ;--)

Its very eay to be happy really.
Just let go of things.

Happiness is a choice

Five simple rules to be happy:

1. Free your heart from hatred.
2. Free your mind from worries.
3. Live simply.
4. Give more.
5. Expect less.

Have a happy March ahead. :--)

posted by SK @ 6:55 AM

2 Comments:

At 9:21 AM, J said…

Heyy surprised to see the new template :-) Goood, pleasant :-)....but konjam ezhuthu maranji pothu first...anyway nice template!!!

"Success is reaching your goals, not the goal itself, but the journey towards it."

Loved these lines...nice post!!! Happy March and the year to you too :-) Be happy :-)

Ah, ippa thaan antha link padichen..OMG tooooo gooood!!! palaar palaarnu aranja maathri iruku....naan en ippadi irukenu thonuthu...hhhmmmm
At 10:00 PM, SK said…

Hey J,
Glad you liked it. :--)

As the article says, everything is in our hands.