Ramblings Only

Ever since BSK was born I have not updated this page about my work. I thought everything was crazy, changing groups when I was 7 months pregnant was not easy. But things were as well placed as they could be. I came back and things had wound down and I was doing some leftover work. I took it easy because I was still getting used to motherhood, pumping thrice at work and all that. Work started picking up just as I stopped feeding. Great timing. So anyway, I had a tough time initially, when I was asked to work in a team that was catering to two projects, already in chaos. This is the team I did not want to work with because I have heard stories about it. But alas I was there. When I asked folks they said we have confidence that you will swim through! Ok that is just BS. Chaotic working practice, mediocre management, no process, ugh, I just  could not stand it. But guess what, I cribbed, but I learnt to deal with it. I have to say since I entered my 30s or since I had BSK, my outlook towards certain things have changed quite a bit. I am not so emotional, I dont take things personally, I always have the big picture in sight. I knew what I wanted out of this job. I actually like the team. Some people were difficult. This one girl I worked with, who went on maternity leave soon, was totally utterly useless. :--( Bad work practice. Anyway. once she left, I gathered up all the loose ends, tied them up in a neat knot. I was recognized and awarded in both projects. Yippee!! I gained the trust of some people, who were ignoring me earlier, and they started taking me seriously. Now I am sent to chase people down to do their jobs. I dont exactly like it, but I know I have to do it. But bottomline I am happy. I can tell people I cannot stay beyond 4:30 and they respect it because they know I will get the job done even otherwise. Of course I try to attend 4-5 meetings if given adequate notice so I can coordinate with DH for BSK's pickup. So now actually I like this team. And I like the work. I am one happy camper. Lessons learnt. Have the big picture in mind. Give your best. Dont expect everything to be handed to you in a platter. Most importantly, try to learn something worthwhile from every experience! Be positive, only you can decide whether you are satisfied or not, you can choose to do the right thing. Probably doesnt make a whole lot of sense to the few that read, but it does to me. 

In order to feel not so bad about my post pregnancy body, I went all out, revamped my wardrobe, and since I joined the new team at the same time, it was easy to wear whatever I wanted. It wouldnt have been possible in FTown where everyone knew me from when I was a super careless dresser. Fashion may not be a big deal for many, but it is for me. It took a lot for me to move to skinnies and jeggings, I never thought I could make it work, but I did! Now I never wear flares except in trousers. I am not there yet. Layering again adds so much color to the outfit. Somehow three colors makes everything interesting. And mix and match adds variety. I started adding colored blazers to some looks too with caution. I want to wear proper suit jackets to work. I know I will look totally out of place, but heck, why should I care what others think? Casual blazers are so in and I cannot wait for fall and winter to kick in full fledged to wear them! I get so many compliments at work, even from people who dont know me. One memorable compliment - "You dress looks so comfortable" "Thank you" " It is fully covered too" "Yes I prefer it that way" "And it is fashionable too, it is perfect!" "Thank you!"

BSK lady is becoming cuter and cuter. It is totally mind blowing. Just when you think she cannot get any cuter. I call her Pattu and DH calls her Laddoo. I called her once 'Paattttuuuu' in a sing song voice. And lo behold, madame mimiced me, in the exact singsong voice!! In the end as her voice tries to reach the higher notes, it breaks, it is soooooooooooooo cute. Now we keep calling her pattu and laddoo to hear her repeat in the oh sooo cute way.That also means we have to be careful what we say around her now!  She keeps talking to herself blabbering something. She seems to be very social. We were at the Exploratarium on Friday for a corporate family event  and she was trying to play with all the kids there.She has also become unmanageable as in she wants to be put down so she can run around, watch people, putting everything she find on the floor into her mouth. Her tantrums are peaking. She would throw things and lie down on the floor to show her unhappiness. Gee! One other cute thing she does is pretend cry. She will crinkle her nose, open her mouth and keep this paavam face and cry mildly in a paavam voice. Just to get our sympathy. Oh god. The wail will turn into giggles the second we do what she wants. She imiates everything I do in a totally adorable way.

As I was cooking this afternoon, (you can see I wrote this post in multiple installments), I could hear the pitter patter of her tiny feet on the wooden floor. It sounded so divine. She will soon be grown up before we know it, and I think I will miss this phase the most. The way she half runs, the way she blabbers, the way she imitates, the way she says 'paatttuuu' or 'ladddooo', the way she dances, her dance is stepping to one side with her one leg, or move her bum up and down, her hai's which are more frequent now, the way she loves the feeling of my hair on her face, the way she enjoys her grapes, putting not one not two not three but four or five in the mouth at a time, juice dripping on her chin. Love you pattu.