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| Happy happy |
| Tuesday, March 26, 2013 |
Let me get it out of my system, before I lose steam. ;--)
One of my biggest fears after the baby was I might let my so called career take a back seat, I might not be as enthu about my career, I may not have as much time to spend at work, I may have to make some tough calls, I may not be able to travel or whatever, in general balance baby and work and do a good job.
The first year was a piece of cake compared to the second year. With parents and in laws around for help. I cannot believe we just had a vacation in Jan, Xmas holidays in Dec, barely three months and it feels like so long ago. Sickness, rut, mundane. Need a break.
I got back to work after a week of being couped up at home with pink eye, when I got my review at work. I didnt even know it was a delivery rather thought it was still one more review of the review, I had given up on it a little bit. And the review couldnt have been better. Unexpected. Mommyhood seems to have affected my work life. And in a good way.
As I said my mantra at work was different this time around. Some of the changes I had to do -
- Be confident. Most important.
- Learn to work with difficult people
- Have the bigger picture in mind
- Dont take small remarks to heart, basically be thick skinned. Something I had to really really work on
- Never wasted time at work! Since my time was so limited it actually helped me be more efficient!
- Help out whereever I could, go out of the way
- Stand up, take ownership, offer help
- Build good work relationships
- Do the right thing and not be afraid
- Do not be afraid or feel guilty if you are wrong, it is okay to make mistakes
- Be very vocal, be very open
- Be super friendly, Mommyhood gave me plenty of things to converse about - sickness, tantrums, timelessness, sleeplessness
- Dont let stress get to you. If you do your best you cannot get stressed out. Or worry.
- Always be on top of things, never let things slip.
- Be more organized, I surprised myself by actually remembering a few things at work to the minutest details, but writing down is better
- Never keep the ball in your court for too long, always pass it on as soon as possible.
- Jut your head into all things, sometimes
- Ask for it, sometimes things will not be given to you on a platter, you have to fight for it. I have learnt to fight big time
- Good communication is key. Organized, well drafted emails and status updates give the picture that you know what you are talking about, spending time on it is not wasteful. I have written the same updates to three different teams within the same week, shifting focus. Irritating, but it is worth it.
- Did I say be efficient?
- Again did I say big picture, big picture, big picture?
- Last but not the least have a mentor and sponsor who would vouch for you, support you with confidence
I felt I had this push from behind, constant and nagging, like dont get left behind sorta push, like I had to prove myself make myself indispensible, not let career take a back seat after a baby. But of course help from DH whenever I needed was the most absolute requirement. But again I dont want to be the woman that attributes her success to someone else. ;--)
I am writing this down beause this will be a time capsule to a future me when she is struggling to get things done at work. Right now things are already falling apart again, with more than enough tasks to handle, and sickness and india trip and distractions.
So the lesson is, if at all mommyhood has affected my work life, it is for the better! It does feel surreal. All the time you want something, you dont get it for one reason or the other, it is in the back of your mind, you are kind of discouraged by your boss saying it may not happen, but then it happens. It really is surreal, something you wanted for so long suddenly given to you. You wonder if you really deserve it. Then you dont think it is such a big deal at all. You have more milestones to accomplish, miles to go before you sleep. It is just a small step. But a giant leap for the mommy in me, to provide me with the confidence and hope that not all is lost.
But it is also possible that having absolutely nothing else other than work and home going on in my life kinda helped. Only work, home, cooking, workout, baby, DH. No marathon training, no AID, no WIN, no Toastmasters, no singing, no dancing, no volunteering basically no extra curriculars. And I would like to rectify that. That would be my next step.
I will have to come up with a list of things I want to do this year. But I am in India mood now, going to India in less than a month! I am really looking forward to it. It is going to be hectic and I know some people are going to get on my nerves and make me miss US being back home to my work and my little life, but for now, I am looking forward to our tiny little flat, my tiny room with a literally tiny computer, the dusty roads, the cows, the dogs, the tea kadai andthe world famous sweltering Chennai summer!
Any tips from readers on taking toddlers to india? I am accumulating wisdom from multiple resources might compile a post from it too ;--)
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posted by SK @ 4:51 PM  |
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| 5 Comments: |
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What a happy post SK!
I need to learn this from you- you give your best at work no matter what illa? I have slacked big time after baby...
Moving on to happy things- India!! yeayyyyyyyyyyy!
Is BSK in process of being potty trained? Diaper was a big problem the first time we went, because she got terrible rashes from the heat :(.. I left her diaper free when I was home, and that helped.
Vera.. take some of the things she likes from here.I took some snacks that she is used to ( crackers, cheese etc) and even some juice boxes- they like to have something familiar once in a while. I even carried her favorite brand of whole wheat pasta.. helped during the first week of jetlag when she wanted pasta at 3 am :) will think of more and tell u ..
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Hi, i chanced upon your blog a few days back and i just wanted to say that heat or no heat...chennai has a lot of mosquitoes. If the kiddo does get bitten , make sure to apply the calladryl anti itch lotion right away. My lil one didnt eat any solids the whole of 3 weeks. he was totally fine, except those mosquito bumps.
otherwise its super jolly to be in india. Have fun!
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Hellos! I am a 25-year old married Tamil female in the US and I've been an avid reader of your blog in the past few weeks. I really HAD to ask you one thing - from what I understand you seem to have put off starting a family/having BSK for quite a few years after u guys got married.. How did u that - as in how did u not succumb to pressure from parents? On both sides?
I am fighting a daily battle with my parents (God save me during my in-laws' visit here this year!!) about this and there's nothing I tell them tht they seem to understand.. We've been married for little over a year now, and he's only 26.. We are both too young I think to start a family and don't want to do so until after a couple more years (more, if we can manage it)
What stumps me most is my ever-patient, sensible and logical dad has also been sucked into this vortex and even not-so-close friends of his in India seem to give him unwanted baseless blind advice in this regard but he wouldn't pay attention what his own daughter has to say abt it :( :(
Sorry for the rant - and I also see that u guys did LDR for the first few years of ur marriage but I still think what u guys managed was quite a feat!
Having similar backgrounds as I do, I thought u cud give me some much-needed advice on how to tackle my parents and in-laws - with politeness, without hurting them..
Kodi punyam ungalku! :)
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Hi SK
My 2c:
1) Tylenol
2) Wipes
3) Organic plant-based mosquito repellent - safe for babies skin. (REI has stuff like this for camping)
4) Gerber oats
5) Gerber fruits
6) Sippy cups
Then enjoy with everyone and drink boiled water!
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Daisy,
:--) cmon moving jobs and all, I havent had the guts to do that yet!
Diaper rash good point, thanks! potty training is going on :--( Thanks, do let me know if you think of something else.
Bin, thanks much for the inputs! :--)) Appreciate it.
Anon, hello helloe welcome here. Haha, our case was a little different because we could use long distance as an excuse. Plus our parents were not the pestering kind, plus I would just ignore them. I mean we know when is the right time to have a baby based on our comfort level and situation. They will keep asking, I would say just ignore them. ;--) It is their duty to ask, if you want to be polite just say ok ok but stick to your plans I would say. After all you know your situation the best, you cannot have a baby because they want a grand child. Sorry, I am just elfish like that. :--)
Thanks much Saumya great points to remember!
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What a happy post SK!
I need to learn this from you- you give your best at work no matter what illa? I have slacked big time after baby...
Moving on to happy things- India!! yeayyyyyyyyyyy!
Is BSK in process of being potty trained? Diaper was a big problem the first time we went, because she got terrible rashes from the heat :(.. I left her diaper free when I was home, and that helped.
Vera.. take some of the things she likes from here.I took some snacks that she is used to ( crackers, cheese etc) and even some juice boxes- they like to have something familiar once in a while. I even carried her favorite brand of whole wheat pasta.. helped during the first week of jetlag when she wanted pasta at 3 am :) will think of more and tell u ..