Ramblings Only

I need to write about the very memorable camping trip, my first kayaking experience, my super adorable three year old that I look and admire and want to freeze time everyday. 

But all that has to wait. Because guess who is turning 34 end of the week? No prizes for guessing. I recently realized that I was enrolled a full year earlier in school, finishing my 12th when I turned 17. No wonder I feel so young and immatured compared to my classmates. :--P I was one of the younger kids in class. 

So anyway, before I move on to talk about my birthday let me confess, I miserably failed with my June goals. No carb blah blah goal. Nothing happened. Because as I mentioned I slipped into slight depression (no reason whatsoever other than my messed up head) So diet was not a priority for me.

So 34. Nothing notable. 35 next year. 40 in 2020. :--P My mind is still in teens. Although K says I have the mind of a three year old. Let us ignore that for now. My body though with super slow metabolism, lactose intolerance, allergies, joint pains, lethargy, etc etc does not fail to remind me every single day that the body does not match the mind. 

I want to do so many things. My mind says run run run, do this do that, mind plans, But heck body slacks, slows down wants to sit on the couch and let the mind do the running. 

A friend said, some dreams are meant to remain just that, dreams. Not sure if I am there yet. Not ready to give up yet. I still want to do the great balancing act with work, daughter, cooking, workout, volunteering, and do justice to all of them. However crazy it may sound. 

Sometimes I feel my calendar is not under my control. I take it one day at a time, I put stuff on my calendar and worry about them only when the reminders pop up the day before. 

When I am lethargic, as many of my friends joked in a recent gathering, I would think " What would M do?" I dont know if I told you about M. She had two kids, the second one BSK's age. She is in a similar job as mine, which allows for no work life balance, odd time meetings, working with people all over the world in varied time zones. Her husband does shifts working in god forsaken Tracy that is a good 1.5hrs from here. She is an instructor in 24hr fitness. And at work gym. And she is the women network chair. and did i tell you she has two kids? And lives in my city, which means she has a similar commute as I do. And she is training for a full marathon. She is super fit. Super energetic. Has super enthu. Is super friendly. Screw the geeky girls I used to try to emulate. I want to be her! 

So ya, anytime I get lazy and depressed I ask "What would M do?" and I bounce back. Oh she is a good years older than me too. And she eats chocolates. :--P 

So 34 is making me forgetful, what was I trying to say?

Haan so my goal before I turn 35. See people do new year resolutions. Me being born right at the end of second quarter gives me a chance to revisit my resolutions twice a year.

Before I turn 35 I want to be super fit. Like M. Remember my sabbatical? I have big plans. And for that I need to be fit. And it is high time I start working towards it. I am not bad. I do workout 4-5 times a week. I can run. I can do weights. I can feel my strong quads. But I need to be strong. Really strong. 

Because I think I know M's secret. The more you give yourself time to workout everyday the more IT GIVES BACK! In the form of more energy and mental clarity. I have realized it first hand. 

So there, a rather lofty dream. Inspite of knowing that the minute I talk about my goals something gets jinxed and I fall off the wagon. But the mind doesnt give up. The mind wants to keep trying. So I will. 

On the same note, you know how when you meet someone from your past you feel the time freeze, you dont realize a good 5 6 years have passed since you met, you have babies for gods sake, but you still remember the person as the one that spent time in libraries, the one that wrote about her childhood, the one that still missed her mom's food, about her first time in the US. Even though these events have occurred more than a decade ago :--O they still feel very very current and very very not in the past. 

Time freezes. I met Archana. :--)