Ramblings Only

- today I want it all to be about JSK, mostly. The little ray of sunshine, laughter on our lips. I still remember the day she was born like it was yesterday. 5lb 7oz miniature being, scrawny and alien like, but oh so close to my heart. The fact that  a being was dependent on me, gave me a new confidence and new meaning to my life. Thank you JSK for giving me the opportunity to be a mother. 

- JSK was so happy that I came to her class. She enjoyed all the attention her friends showered on her. Apparently her friends let her go on the monkey bars first because she was the 'birthday girl'

- in the afternoon I was generally stressed. Went for a walk with Daisy. It really helped me destress. I need to start getting out and exercising more. It does wonders.

- I noticed dotter in her ballet class. They practice their program sequence three times in the class. First time JSK is all gung-ho and follows the steps with enthusiasm. Second time I find her get distracted a little, with a 'oh same step again' look. Third time she is so bored do doing the same steps she improvises and does totally different steps! Now I can be sad that I will never see a perfect dance by dotter on the stage, because such performances need practice which Madame is not ready to do. As of now. She is like me, bored quickly, once she gets something. Hyper. Always looking for the next thing to do. May be that's a good thing, in some way?

- my mom used to say around a child's birthday something bad happens. Like the Child falls sick. Today the glass top of a table fell on JSK's feet. Our realtor was visiting us. we put a movie for her since it was her birthday, and let her be by herself watching tv while we were talking to him. Poor poor little JSK, she got three cupcakes I had saved for us to eat from the fridge, kept it on the table, and did something to get the table top to fall on her legs, and the cupcakes on the floor. She cried loudly. Poor little baby. I don't want her to get hurt at all. But the world is so cruel, I know it has a lot of pain in store for her. Why cannot she be like DH, easy going and light hearted? Why does she have to be intense and stubborn and sensitive like me? So I can understand her I guess. I want God to help me raise her as a strong woman. I want her to be happy, and confident. 

This year is so turbulent. What to expect in the big 5? 

Ciao.