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| Patience |
| Thursday, January 20, 2011 |
I thought the year started off very well, but facing a lot of hiccups. I have been very restless for the past couple of weeks, worked up ( dont want to say 'stressed' or 'worried') over something or the other.
Everyday I wake up and tell myself I will not get worked up, but somehow by the end of the day, I end up doing just that. Little moments of happiness are interspersed nevertheless, DH and I are always playful, pulling each other's legs.
The first half of the year is going to be a big waiting game, in more areas than one. I am not one that excels in patience. In fact impatience can be my middle name. I want everything to happen then and there, right away. So I suppose this goes into my endless list of 'behaviors to improve' list.
But I have found a coping mechanism in the past years, so I can handle it without letting things go out of hand. I resort to two things. God and Self-development books. Listening to songs in the car soothes my soul, brings an inner peace. Resorting to self development sites/books helps me realize I am not alone, and all is not lost.
I enjoy working on goals and seeing measurable improvement. Sometimes things are not so easy. But what is life without a challenge? I was cribbing to DH about how I have no significant goals for the first half of the year. Zilch. I feel like I am living a nomad's life, going where life take me, instead of paving way to where I want to go. And that really sucks.
While I cannot have goals like run 15miles a week, or lose x lbs in y weeks, (sigh! how I miss them!), my goals will be fairly straight forward and simple. I don't know why I am not able to take it easy and relaxxx as everyone advises me to.
Choices and decisions. Not so simple anymore. Not so black and white. Is one better than the other? Is one compromise more favorable than the other? Gone are the days when I was able to consult with people and make an informed decision. But sometimes you have to make a choice that is right for you, it may not be the best for everyone. I have probably never talked about work since I moved. Why, because I absolutely hate it here. I realize I am pretty spoilt by my amazingly perfect previous team. After a bit of fight and argument, well can you first of all believe I did that?, I will be out of here to some place else soon. Not something someone would undertake in my situation. Something I really didn't need now. But really it has boosted a lot of confidence in myself. No inertia. Now I really hope the new team is as good as I think it is, or as good as I was promised.
Two months into the job, I was so displeased, I complained to everyone including my parents and everyone advised me to stay put and take it easy. But how I can be in a place where I am not happy and I absolutely loathe the work ethics and the disorganized way things work? Where I am not challenged to my potential? Lesson learnt. Listen to what people say. I heard so many things, and still took it just because I weighed some things over and thought this was best. Wrong choice. But looking at the bright side, I hope, thankfully another team is ready to take in a pregnant woman who will leave on maternity 2 months after joining the team. :--) Thank god for small mercies.
So here are some items on my task list this month - (Go green people :--))
- Shop for furniture
- Shop for baby room
- Finish reading one book
- Register for prenatal classes
- Walk/gym 4 days a week
- Stay relaxed,peaceful,patient, easier said than done. |
posted by SK @ 11:15 AM  |
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| 5 Comments: |
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we need more patience to read this i believe...lolz. kodi gave attendance and left hope she didnt read.....
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enna aniyayam idhu, ofc course i read.. and was smiling at her patience pulambal..!
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All the best in your new team. Waiting for the baby is a long process, but well worth it - believe me :)
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Porkodi, :--))
Kadar,
Why are you pulling others for company :--)
Saumya,
Yep waiting waiting. :--)
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