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| Sensitivity |
| Thursday, January 06, 2011 |
I am a Cancerian. And guess what their well known trait is? Sensitivity. Being a girl on top of it doesn't help.This post is not a crib-fest rather just some observations I have made from my life experiences.
There was a time, when I was so sensitive, that if I don't get a reply for an email, I lose my mind over it, wondering if the person doesn't like me/respect me/care for me/consider me important enough to reply on time. But of course gone are the days. I have matured enough to understand I don't have to be the most important thing in every acquaintance's/friend's life. Life is definitely better this way.
Today I sent a not so good update to the boss. Things are slipping. I felt so guilty, I kept checking my Outlook like million times a minute, if thats possible, to see what she would reply. I did have a valid reason for the slip but still I felt guilty. Being a perfectionist is the bane of my life. I kept wondering if she thought I was the eternal slacker, or if I never keep up my word, or that I am good for nothing. :--( [I know! The thoughts the head can conjure up!] Finally it was time to leave and with no reply from her, I couldn't go home peacefully.
I decided to drop by her cube. Turns out she was pre-occupied with some of her own problems and had not even checked my email. When I laid down the facts to her, rather confidently, although I was a wreck inside, she said she understood that I was busy with some other things and that its fine. Phew!! I was so relieved and left peacefully.
Somehow accepting that things need not always work to schedule and that it is acceptable and fair, is very difficult for me. How does one judge if someone is genuinely slipping or if he is just browsing blogs or Facebook at work? ;--)
I have a knack of recognizing and knowing if someone has put in the right amount of effort or not. Recently someone blatantly lied to my face, saying he 'tried all he could' but still couldn't get something working and needed my time, and one look at his work and I knew that he was just too lazy to think and wanted me to do it for him. Sigh! Such people do exist!
But I highly doubt if everyone has such an ability. How do you bring efficiency in a team when you cannot judge these things? In my previous team, the boss was the man. He had an uncanny ability to know when someone is not putting his best. And of course he doesn't rest until he squeezes every ounce of what you have.
After working with such a person, my reins have been loosened quite a bit. Its taking time getting used to this. In fact, I don't want to get used to this, because I like to be challenged and pushed to my limits.
Things are supposed to be tight. But heck at 5PM everyone disappears. And that is being swamped. I told DH, and he said that people at his workplace called themselves swamped when they are not able to go for their afternoon post lunch walks! Last year my definition of swamped was not finding time to cook, not finding time to work out, stuck with the eyes glued to the laptop until bed time. Of course sleepless night are a whole new deal, that is a violation of my rights and I will protest.
The kind of jobs there are nowadays cannot be treated like the ones our parents had. At least I find it difficult to shut out work the minute I get out of there. I agree things will have to change when kids are involved or there are other commitments, but passion is what drives work. If one doesn't have the passion it is very difficult to be successful. There should be excitement in figuring out things and getting things done and when you lose the excitement, well, its time to look for something else to do.
Anyway I am going to put 'be less sensitive' to my 2011 resolutions. I have come a long way but I need to go a long way too.
I have more coming, may be next week will be when I get to it.
On a good note - days are getting longer! Yippee! One good thing to beat out the post vacation blues! |
posted by SK @ 6:40 PM  |
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| 7 Comments: |
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we want vacation posts!!!!! we want vacation posts!!! we want vacation posts!!
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"heck at 5PM everyone disappears." to reappear online an hour later ?
If this is all they work, then I would like to move there or is it a low phase in project?
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wow..there is one other person who has the same understanding of the word swamped .. I'm in the same boat as you..to top it off ...work is currently super low and they are interviewing one more person for the team tomm...
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I believe in detaching work life from home life. Passion definitely counts,but there should be a threshold for stress. Working late nights is not my cup of tea, even with a cup of tea. :) And, not everyone likes being pushed and challenged. The manager has to be good enough to utilize people's skills depending on their personalities.
Being "less sensitive" is good. Another resolution could be " Say No when needed." Many sensitive people don't do that either.
Wish you a very happy and fun filled new year !!
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me a taurean & wats the trait for it?
cool babe! dont be a perfectionist. you can realize it when u lead a team. in otherwords, a too much perfectionist cannot be a manager. when u become a mother u can feel it as it would take u to the next stage of your life. sensitivity is the matter more than the cancerian, way of brought up, over pet people can be more sensitive. from the childhood if u have heard no to no its difficult & it makes u more sensitive. when u get experience in the life on your own, u start realize dat there is no in my life too... when u get more and more no s ur expectations started reducing and make you less sensitive. so take it as granted and easy.
but sk, i like the way of your narrating style. if u have the knowledge of camera industry, you have the chance to prove u. but i don know u r already in dat place. wishes....
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Porkodi,
Yep yep, on their way. :--) So much to write so little time.
Sachita,
You are welcome to join, a position might just open up soon. :--)
Al, I hear ya! Good to know someone thinks like me.
Shoba,
I agree in work-like balance, what I dont believe in is, treating the job like its just a money making machine.
Say no when needed, ah will add it. :--)
Kadar,
taurean, no clue, need to look up. As I said, being a perfectionist is my bane. ;--)
Oh no I am not in the Camera industry :--)
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Interesting post SK. Agree with Shoba - learn to say no. IT does not reduce your passion in any way. My father used to joke: "If a person works, give them more work, and if a person doesn't work, give them a salary!"
Only, I don't think it is as much of a joke anymore. So, the more you take on, the more you will get. It is upto you to decide when it is enough.
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we want vacation posts!!!!! we want vacation posts!!! we want vacation posts!!