| JSK is too cute nowadays. She has her moments but when she is in a good mood, she is a little gem. This is a cute stage. I have started this little game to get her to listen to me. All of us DH, JSK and I have to answer/respond to anything directed towards us, within three times of asking. I noticed I sometimes didn't listen to JSK, ;--(, mainly because they are simple things that she asks when I am doing something, like cooking. May be she is learning it from me! Slap on my face.
So today we tried this and it seems to work. Only time will tell. I told this Moms Club friend that my daughter doesn't listen to me yesterday, today she emailed me saying she felt very sorry for me and that she can recommend some workshop sessions I can attend. And that she would go crazy if her kids did not listen to her! I don't want to kill her spirit and independence by saying she has to listen to me and the elders no matter what. I want her to stretch the limits and not limit herself with what we say. Not sure if I am coming right or if even my thought process is right. I feel I am on my own here, sort of. I don't know how my mom did it. I don't think they thought so much. I should ask her. All I know is she didn't have the patience to handle JSK when we were in India. DH's mom is all about giving freedom to the child. My BIL's kid is 5 and is the most pampered kid I know with everyone dancing to his tunes. I don't have the time and luxury for that.
So JSK is most times the teacher and will want us to answer her questions. She will take the roll call, sign us in and out, show us books, tell us stories. I miss her old play date friend. Her reading is becoming better and better. She can read paragraphs at a time, long sentences. When she doesn't get a word she simply skips over and continues on with the sentence. I was afraid she was not comprehending but then I used to skip words all the time, even when I was 10. It is a skill to guess the meaning of a word based on the context.
In the new school she gets lot of play time which is great. Her classmates can do things she cannot do and today I saw her try and try and try. As I said earlier, it physically hurts to know she is going to get hurt when she gets older. Life seems hard right now.
That job thing didn't work out. May be I shouldn't have been so over confident Oh well. One thing I notice that is good where I work is people are extreme nice about helping each other. Always have time for a cup of coffee and give feedback and tips. It was a skillset mismatch and so no offense taken. One lady who used to work here said she wants to come back even if it means taking a pay cut because there is work life balance. This is one of the main reasons why I am still here after 10 years, having gotten two chances to move out. Not always but most times it is there, you can pace your career the way you want it. There are lazy folks and geniuses working here.
I have two trainings to give in a few weeks to a large audience and it is totally freakjng me out inside, although outside I am all super confident. I have to be an expert in the area which I am not sure if I am, damn low self confidence, anticipate questions and be prepared for answers. I know I normally love doing this, so my outlook towards this is wrong. I need to enjoy the process without getting sidetracked with the knots in my stomach.
Ok enough work.
Peaceful thoughts. Guess what I am listening to now?! Bhagvat Gita. A multilayered mystery. So deeeeeeeeeep, I love it. It brings peace. I was at a faire yesterday and I noticed this one guy a supposed Jesus preacher, shouting about how the women are skimpily dressed. It is men like him that soil what the religion stands for. The same is applicable for all religions. I am searching for answers and I have stumbled upon this. I plan to read the Koran and Guru Granth Sahib as well. Eventually spirituality is what seems to bring me peace in times of stress and unrest.
And thus Monday ends.
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