I need to change it. Can I forget about work for a few hours and relax without feeling guilty?
My new boss said if I ever feel stressed I can set up sometime to talk to him after 5. I did that today. He asked me to write everything down on a paper then my head won't have to process everything. I could have hugged him ;--P same self pity and feeling of gratefulness when someone has a kind word to say.
Frankly I am longing for a 9-5 job where I work after hours on my own accord. I would be much more productive if all my evening meetings where at regular office hours. I can't believe I am saying this, but why not.
That said. Opportunities are abundant. To make an impact. To make an impression. To influence outside of the group etc etc. I need to learn to handle it with less stress. I am always stressed the first time I do something. Next time I learn all the loop holes and do a decent job of it.
September is going to be uber busy. Some business trips coming up. Some trainings to give.
I am one of the few finalists for the 'change the world' event at work. ;--P i was so happy! I have an interview to give. Pray for me?! That will pick me up. My average line is higher than average. Hence I need more stimulation to keep myself enthused. Everything is going well. Touch wood. But I am not content.
My Martian is saved. Whatay book! Looking forward to the movie. Next I am reading a book on Willpower. Willpower is limited. Totally. I spend most of mine at work so I have none left for dieting. I need to have a laid back year to get my health in order I guess. So far so good.
Now I understand the true meaning of being sensitive. A sensitive person reacts to the smallest of inputs, being it positive or negative with an observable reaction or output. This is all part of my introspection, trying to find my strengths and weakness and understanding my passions. As planned. I will not blame myself for the times I slacked or did not do a good job. I know I am smart and capable (woah!) I just need to channel them in areas that interest me. I am an INFJ. Introverted and strong willed. I am not going to change who I am. I bring something unique to the table.
Currently my health is bugging me. I want to workout like last year, no goals are kinda boring. But I need to take a break for my body to recover. DH is training for a marathon. I have no goals. I don't have any willpower left to watch my weight. Waiting for a good time.
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What about BSK? What about her, she is fine, super stubborn but we know that. I should learn to 'emotionally connect' with her to get her to listen to me. Madame can read full books now and can read long 10-12 letter words. And she reads in her head! I thought she only does that for familiar books until today. We were at a friends place, ( wifey travelling in conference, husband handling 4 yr old and 9 month old, we wanted to liven him up ;--P), there was some book that JSK was looking at for the first time. It said 'find the group with more number of fishes and check the star near it'. JSK looked at it, started counting the fishes on both sides and clearly circled the right star. I was super surprised.
I am not too concerned about her writing. Creativity with blocks.. We don't have any, so don't know how to encourage her except provide her with Lego and stuff. Like parents like daughter. And also Apple doesn't fall far from tree, some basic fundamental qualities do get passed on through genes.
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We need to figure out our schedule. I hope I can get a different job soon with no night meetings ;--P I am sick of them. The days when I worked 9-5 feel like heaven. There was an end to work and start to work. This role may get me a promo but I might not stay if I don't have to.
Every time I stretch out of my comfort zone I feel stressed. But it provides satisfaction too. I need to learn to manage stress. So I can take on new things and get the satisfaction without he stress. My boss seems to have figured it out but he is a 25 year veteran.
My half hearted gym done, I have to prep for my 10pm meeting. ;--S
This blog is becoming my diary. Dumping it on the blog helps a little bit actually. ;--)
Edited to add: I saw a meteor! It has become cloudy again, the Perseid Meteor Showers are expected to put on a neat show at 1am but I am sleeeeeepy.
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Every time I read your updates, I can't help but wonder how different we think. Either I am lazy and complacent or plain stupid, but work does not stress me out. I don't do night meetings, I rarely accept travel, I only do whatever I can in the time I drop my kids and pick them up, and I am yet to not be satisfied with that.
I love the job...can grow like crazy if I put even an hour or two extra each day, but I realize its always a downward spiral, and eventually, kids get affected, no matter how hard you try. And I am extremely sensitive to their childhood fleeting by, so I don't spend a minute extra at work if I dont have to.
No wonder I never blog about work either....work does not define my life or my routine or my goals. And even though I am a smart engineer, I find time to do meaningful things outside of all the responsibilities to make a difference in others' lives....usually on a weekly basis atleast. It matters to me, so I make time for it.
Hope you find a good balance soon....