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| 2012 |
| Friday, January 06, 2012 |
I am not by nature a happy kid. I may have inherited a trait from my father, knowingly or unknowingly. I worry a lot. We worry a lot. Sometimes we worry because we have nothing to worry about. A reason why I enjoyed DH's company ever since I knew him. He was worry free! Almost. All kinds of stress management techniques has helped manage my worry. Like this blog. It has helped me focus on the positives mostly. When I feel down I go back and read the blog, and relive the happy moments. Because a few people read it, I make an effort to not crib too much. I used to be a major crib fest in school and college. Now I have changed. Occasionally the chronic worrier in me does show her shabby head.
Everytime I had to worry about something that didnt go as I wanted it to, life has only given me something better at the end of it. Like when I finished my Board Exams, happy with a decent score, I was looking forward to joining Bits, it was possible with my score. It was easy enough to get into, no stupid exams, just order of priority. Only catch was it was faraway. And expensive. I almost prayed I dont get into Anna, then only the elite three schools were Anna, not every Tom, Dick and Harry school as it is now. But I got in. And Dad decided I will be better off going to college from home. But what I thought was a bad move for my life turned out to be one of best moves. There was a silver lining. I met DH there. I couldnt have obtained a gold medal in Bits, which I believe helped me get a fellowship to study here, without which I wouldnt have landed here. After Masters I didnt get the job I wanted. I was doing some mindless coding. I was clinically depressed. There was a silver lining. I fell hopelessly in love. I discovered blogging then. Because I had the time and it was a distraction. When the time was right just after we got married, I had job offers pouring in. That set back was for me to realize the power of love, to find the perfect man to share my life with and in some sorts a lesson to always look at the bright side and that no matter what you do sometimes fate has an upper hand, that you cannot control. For five long years our relationship was long distance. It was difficult because we couldnt decide to settle down. Everything was temporary. It was nerve wrecking. But it was for good, because had we decided to move to Bay Area sooner we would have bought a house that would probably be under water now.
So last year was as uneventful as life could get, at the same time one of the most important milestones in my life happened. What irony! There is something that I wanted desperately, it didnt happen. That was bad. I slacked off of the many painfully cultivated hobbies and relationships. I took it easy at work. I did not take a more lucrative job instead decided to stick around here. I should say I lost a few months switching teams too quickly. But the silver lining is that I got to spend more time with BSK. BSK didnt have to fight for my time with work.
I had some disappointments. Life is not always rosy you see. But mommyhood unshone all the setbacks. I dont think it will be so forever, so I have to buck up and catch up. January is generally depressing, this first week has been the most depressing boring week. The mind wants to do so many things, but reality restricts with limitations.
I have one theme for 2012. And that is to have a life outside of the baby. That doesnt mean being a bad Mom ok. It does mean I might go crazy. At the annual women's conference last year, as a new mother, I totally understood what they said about work-life balance and making it all work. A fellow I met said something very insightful. You can have a good career, and you can be a good parent. You can be the best at both. But just dont try to be the best at both on the same day. Stuck with me. Its going to be a challenge, because this year is when we will be handling BSK alone. When she will be going to daycare for the first time, when she will fall sick again and again, when she will grow some teeth, when she will be potty trained, when she will learn to talk, walk, run.
I have one more goal for 2012. I want to more chore-minded. Somehow household chores take the last seat, always. Even if I have some time, I am too bored to take them up, unless they are absolutely necessary. Tidiness will be the focus. Feng shui?
Two things to focus on this year.
Of course weight loss is am implicit goal, on going goal. Forever and ever.
Oh and just for kicks I plotted this. My weight curve for the year 2011. For a change, I started off heavier and ended up lighter! :--D (No Y axis is NOT how much I weigh in lbs or kgs now, you know better that that! Its just delta) Hope when I plot this for 2012 in December it will be one straight line going down.
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posted by SK @ 5:23 PM  |
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| 3 Comments: |
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Wow....what a year in review! Lovely SK. You may not have achieved everything you wanted on every other front....but believe me, in retrospect you will be happy that you decided to spend time with BSK.
Happy 2012!
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Happy new year Saumya! Yes I hope it is worth it! :-D
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Loved this post ,esp. the second para.
Happy New Year SK!!
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Wow....what a year in review! Lovely SK. You may not have achieved everything you wanted on every other front....but believe me, in retrospect you will be happy that you decided to spend time with BSK.
Happy 2012!