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| Do yours do it too? |
| Friday, November 06, 2015 |
Hide facts from you? Your parents?
As we were waiting in Addis Ababa, one of the friends travelling with me called her parents in India and got news that her Dad had been in an accident. A bike guy hit and ran away while her Dad fell to the ground and was unconscious for sometime. She had half a mind to buy tickets to India right from there. I am pretty sure the 16 hr flight to DC was the longest for her. But her Dad spoke and convinced her he has enough people looking after him and she need not come.
I thought about my own parents and realized my parents would have never told it to me. They feel they shouldnt worry us, because we are so far away. It is not possible to get anything from them. They do go for routine check ups and they do have some issues that need handling, but I will never know how serious or not serious it is.
The weeks before I left to Kenya, my parents kept asking me if I got any stomach ultrasound. I didnt understand why they were asking and was too busy to think too much about it. My Mom has had uterine fibroids removed a decade back, which my parents didnt tell me, I heard from my Anni.
When I got back DH told me to check with my parents since his parents saw mine at their hospital. I called and my Dad said everything is fine, and to talk to them when I am not driving and am home. It all sounded so suspicious. And my Dad can be stubborn. I was jetlagged and I was scared. My Mom was on Facebook and was Watsapping, so I knew it was not too bad. I have been in mild depression, jetlagged, back to normal, messy home, untimely sleep etc.
So I braced myself and called today. My mom has Polycystic Kidney Disease it seems. They have known this for 17 years. SEVENTEEN fricking years. There is no cure for it except removing the affected organ, which is both kidneys for my mom. It has been kept under control in these many years through medication and proper diet. So she has been treated with medicines, but her kidneys are stressed. There has been a breakthrough in the treatment only very recently. But it is too late for my mom to take advantage of it, since she is pretty advanced stage. But they are trying something in the new hospital. That is why they were at the new hospital.
This disease is genetic and hereditary. And there is a 50% chance for the offsprings to get it if the mother has it. My grandparents dont have it, so not sure where or how my Mom got it. And my Dad wanted to see if I got any check up done. He wouldnt tell me what the issue is and just expected me to randomly do an ultra sound of my abdomen. ;--) He said now there is treatment for early stage of the disease so even if we have it, since we are in the US, which is the most developed country, I will be all right it seems. ;--) And he already got my brother scanned in India and will be doing another scan this year.
Whether or not I will be affected is the last thing on my mind. I wanted to make sure my Mom was okay and what the future has for her. So slowly her kidneys may give up. Then she will have to be on dialysis and THEN put her name for a donor kidney request. And apparently that will take one year to get when she can have a new kidney. My dad told this so matter of factly, like it happens everyday to everyone. From what I understand dialysis is huge. I want to see if we can get a donor kidney BEFORE hers gives up. I have some research to do. And my Dad says, they will be so many people who will need it more than mom that is why they have the list!
My Dad said 'We have lived a good life, both my children are married. I have seen my grand daughter, I will see my other grand child soon (SIL is expecting) so in 10 months after seeing the child I will go to God with open arms' What do I tell him? I told him I want them to see JSK's wedding too. And he laughed.
I guess I get my fearlessness for death from him.
Just wanted to dump it here. I think the news is not fully sunk in yet. I still need to read some more and talk to people.
My MIL pulled her leg and is not able to go for walks. She is in a sad state too. But she shares with her children, sorrows are halved when shared.
I told my Dad not to hide anything from me or brother anymore. Will they listen? |
posted by SK @ 4:08 PM  |
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| 4 Comments: |
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Hope things get better for your mom. here is hoping they are able to stall any adverse effect.
My parents hide some and share some. It happened recently when they told us after the ordeal was over, Our reactions( rather screams) to that is ensuring that they now tell us everything.
We need to let them know how not knowing affects us.
PS: though I just realized I pester them too much once they tell me stuff, need to tone down that.
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I am so sorry you just found out about this for your mom. Hugs to you! It will take a while to sync in, so take your time.
I am not sure how I would feel if my parents hid it from me for so long. First reaction would be anger. I feel they should trust me when it comes to matters like this. My parents spend a lot of time here since i've had kids and the #1 reason I like that is I can monitor their health as they age. Dad has epilepsy and both mom-dad have battled depression so it can get quite difficult for them without seeing kids for extended periods of time.
Keep telling your parents that you need to know. Ask them to trust you. Slowly it will improve. Maybe tag team with your brother and get more info. Hope it gets better for you.
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Sachita good to know it is not just my parents! They think I will worry hence don't share.. Worry comes first but resolution comes next!
Shachi, depression sounds bad.
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Shachi
It is not easy to watch them grow old ;--(
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Hope things get better for your mom. here is hoping they are able to stall any adverse effect.
My parents hide some and share some. It happened recently when they told us after the ordeal was over, Our reactions( rather screams) to that is ensuring that they now tell us everything.
We need to let them know how not knowing affects us.
PS: though I just realized I pester them too much once they tell me stuff, need to tone down that.